Year of the Panther
by Mongoose2
Summary: The war is over. Duo is killed on vacation. Shinigami offers Duo a chance at life! Duo must win Heero's within one year. But Duo's been turned into the animal! What is he and can he win Heero's love in time?Or will he spend eternity as a...
1. part 1

Year of the Panther  
  
By Mongoose  
  
Ok minna, this is my third fanfic. It's not finished so if you like it please email me and encourage me. It would help a lot.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net.  
  
I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's by. It's called "Fluke" IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 1: Death's Death  
  
[Narrator]  
  
Heero had never asked for much in life.... or so he'd thought.  
  
One reason was because he didn't value material things to much, unless they were the bare necessities.  
  
Two, was he didn't believe he deserved what few things he dared to ask for.  
  
Three, was he'd never believed he'd live long enough to utilize what he'd asked for if he received it.  
  
On the third Heero been wrong. Which is saying something, since Heero Yuy is never wrong. The war was over and Heero was still alive...but he wasn't.....he would never be alive again...  
  
Duo had told him he was wrong about reason number two. Heero could here him now….  
  
"Heero, how can ya think you don't deserve happiness? You've worked so damn hard to win piece for all the people of the earth sphere, and ya succeeded! We all did... How can you say that?! You've done so much for them...for me...."  
  
He'd never been able to totally believe it though...  
  
And Duo had proved him wrong on some aspects of number one...  
  
[Flash back]  
  
....Duo taking Herro out for his first ice cream...  
  
.....Teaching Heero to fly a kite for the first time in his 17 years...  
  
.......showing him all the things he'd never done as a child....all the things he'd never dreamed about as a teenager....showing him how to live.....  
  
[End of flash back]  
  
But Heero had asked for none of these things....He had only asked for one thing...Duo. He had asked for Duo....and he had been denied....or so he thought.....  
  
...It happened like this...  
  
* * *  
  
The war had finally ended and Heero and Duo had gone away on a long deserved summer retreat, in a beautiful spot back in the woods of northern Sanq Kingdom near a spring fed lake of cool emerald colored water. They stayed in a snug three room log cabin. The rooms were a kitchen/dinning room, a living room and a bedroom (and the bathroom of course).  
  
The living room was snug and warm with a cheery fireplace for winter and big, screen insertable, windows for summer. It had one over- stuffed arm chair, a rocking chair that creaked softly, a coffee table and two big pillows that served as a couch, seeing as the house rent was a lot and Duo hadn't wanted to hack into banking accounts for cash anymore unless it was necessary. One pillow was cobalt blue (Heero's) and the other was dark purple (Duo's). Duo had seen them when they had gone shopping for the furniture not already provided by the house and he had instantly fallen in love with them and insisted on buying them. Heero had only agreed to it if Duo promised to forgo the small couch he'd fancied, and Duo had happily obliged.  
  
The Kitchen also served as a dinning room, so it was pretty big. It had a stove and an oven, a sturdy wooden table and chairs for eating at, and a cutting board over-hung with cabinets. The front door to house opened into the kitchen. It had a checkered tiled floor by the stove and cutting board, which turned to wood by the table.  
  
The bed room consisted of one large bed, with a bed-side-table on either side of the bed, each with it's own lamp. Across from the bed's bottom was a big, twelve-drawer dresser holding Heero's and Duo's cloths. Across from the hallway door there were two sliding doors leading outside that served a windows and backdoors. There was no upstairs to the house, only the eves and the shingles between them and the elements.  
  
It was a beautiful home. Duo and Heero had only just moved in two months ago and spring was open them, when sitting in the kitchen one late Saturday mourning sipping coffee a figure appeared in the front doorway, which had been left open to better enjoy the breeze. A little girl with curly, black hair and pale skin and a light purple dress with tears streaking down her face and dirt smudging her bear and bloody feet, holding a gun she shouldn't have know how to use stormed in.  
  
She looked around wildly, and then spotted the two youths, Duo looking startled and Heero was on his feet, groping for the gun he no longer carried. The girl screamed hoarsely, "you!" she pointed the gun at Duo. "You killed my papa," she sobbed. She lifted the gun…and pulled the trigger. It hit Duo square in the head. He toppled off his chair and spilled his coffee on the floor. Heero stood, helpless, as Duo lay there struggling for life, as it seeped out through his head in a read river, flowing into the ocean of blood about his head.  
  
"He was…Papa was all I had," the little girl whispered. Then she lifted the gun once again and aimed at Heero this time. He looked at her through a shroud of sorrow and his eyes begged for death, to go to the black place called death his lover had gone.  
  
Her expression turned from angry to sad and a tear escaped her eye as she saw the pain on Heero's face, as she asked a life-long question to anyone who cared to listen, "why?" And that was the last thing she said before turning the gun on to her own head and pulling the trigger for the last time…  
  
* * *  
  
Just as she raised the gun to her head Heero came out of his shock enough to realize what she was about to do. He lunged for the gun, but it was too late. The bullet went through her head in a shower of warm blood and she too lay dead on the kitchen floor.  
  
Heero looked from the girl to Duo and sank to his knees in the pool of the two's blood and Duo's spilled coffee, an ugly reddish-brown mixture. He put his head in his hands and asked softly the same question the girl had asked, "Why?" over and over again.  
  
End of chapter 1  
  
C and C PLEASE!!! demonangel600@comcast.net 


	2. part 2

Year of The Panter  
  
By Mongoose  
  
Ok minna, this is my third fanfic. It's not finished so if you like it please email me and encourage me. It would help a lot.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net .  
  
I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's by. It's called "Fluke" IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 2: Old Soldier. New Blood.  
  
[Heero]  
  
As soon as I saw the little girl I thought of another little girl and her puppy, then when I saw the gun I though of myself. That's about when I realized something horrible was about to happen…again.  
  
I had automatically reached for my nonexistent gun, a habit I thought Duo had finally forced me to brake.  
  
I must have been out of practice, because when she raised that gun to my beloved's head I was too slow. Too damn slow.  
  
I was still in shock when she raised the gun barrels to my head, but by then all my coherent thought was busy screaming 'No…no…NO!...Duo!!!' again and again in my head.  
  
When I noticed the gun minus-five seconds too late to stop the bullet, if there'd been one coming, I truly wanted death, more then I had ever craved it during the war. I must have thought that some how, in death, I could find Duo and we could live together in the grave. Now that I think about it, it sounds foolish and weak. But at the time is made perfect sense.  
  
Some of the grief…no anguish, no there aren't any words to describe this throbbing, aching, empty feeling in my heart that I had thought was made of stone, must have shown on my face, because the girl suddenly looked even sadder then before.  
  
When I saw her bring the gun to her own head all I could think was 'oh no…not again. No more little girls…please no more…please God, no more…' and on and on. And it was those thoughts of the repetition of a tragedy that slowed my down even more…I was too late. Too late to save her…to save Duo…to stop the war…I had failed…Failed the souly most important mission… I had failed Duo…  
  
End of chapter 2.  
  
C and C please! demonangel600@comcast.net 


	3. part 3

Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 3: Lake Side  
  
By Mongoose  
  
************************  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net  
  
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's by. It's called "Fluke"  
  
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
************************  
  
[Heero]  
  
I don't know what I was thinking. After I had buried the little girl in Duo's garden I wasn't thinking all that rationally. I just thought that I should bring Duo to a place he'd be a peace…  
  
I knew that he went down to the lake shore every so often, maybe he swam across to the opposite shore, but I wouldn't know.  
  
Duo had never said I couldn't go with him, but I had always had a strong feeling that it was his place to be alone, just him and his thoughts and the lake.  
  
I knew the way, though. As a genially lifted a profusely bleeding Duo from the floor, that was my destination.  
  
I walked surprisingly steady, considering that Duo, the only the only thing I'd ever asked for…the only thing I truly ever loved, was dieing in my arms.  
  
The forest was subtle shades of dark greens, blacks and browns. The floor of the forest was covered with moss, quieting my footsteps. The massive trees like were towering guardians, watching over us.  
  
____________________________  
  
Duo's bleeding had slowed to a slow oozing trickle and I noticed he was not breathing , nor did he have a pulse –which I judged from the feel of him in my arm. Duo was dead….he was dead…dead…  
  
When I reached the shore, there was a rise in the land, a mound of earth, covered in lush moss and grass. There was a flattened area, as if someone had sat there (probably Duo). Then the grass disappeared, replaced by rock, which sloped down to the water's edge.  
  
I gently lay Duo down on the plant-covered earth mound. I crossed his arms over his chest. I could not help but notice the grimace of pain on his face…to leave this world in such a violent was…and I couldn't stop it….I'd failed! Failed!!!  
  
I stared at the angelic face that used to light up my world when it smiled…not that fake smile, but a real one…used to, yeah, used to. The small logical part brain that was still functioning informed me that I should burry Duo, but I hadn't brought a shovel with me…At least this way I could go back to our…my…home and attempt to sort out my emotions…Yes, it's a problem I have, something Duo was helping me through…but now…well, I'd have to sort them out on my own. But these weren't like any emotions I'd had before. These were painful, awful ones, like nothing words can describe…I had to have time to calm down, time to deal with this and let them out , time to curl up and cry and never stop!  
  
I threw one last glance at Duo, my love, no, what used to be Duo, it was just a shell now. Then I headed back home.  
  
-End  
  
I typed this quickly and in a hurry so if you see any mistakes please tell!  
  
Email me at demonangel600@comcast.net 


	4. part 4

Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 4: Death to Death Talk  
  
By Mongoose  
  
************************  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net  
  
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's by. It's called "Fluke"  
  
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
************************  
  
[Duo]  
  
The little girl, the gun shot, the flash of pain, the struggle for life…It all happened so quickly…  
  
My body died from the head would fairly quickly, I think. But my soul wasn't goin' no where fast. No way. I remember being carried to the shore of the lake, but it's all really foggy and in quick flashes and frozen images and stuff, not something easily put into words. But what I do remember is my lovely little chat with Shinigami and myself. Yes, I know I claim to be the God of Death, but it's more of a partnership, really – I help him carry out deeds that require the use of a mortal vessel and in return I get special skills and powers. And luckily for many of those deeds including destroying OZ, which I already wanted to do, so it was a pretty good deal if you ask me. So I fought OZ with Death on my side…not that I wouldn't have fought anyway, mind you.  
  
The point is that Death that death took my soul and himself and put us in an endless black space in which, he told me, time is suspended.  
  
"So we could, like, talk for centuries and no time would pass in the real world right?" I asked him.  
  
"Correct, but since I know you are capable of talking for centuries, let me get to the point," said death, a cloaked shadow against the black of the obis he's taken us to. "Duo, have helped me many times in the past, and now it would appear it is you who are in need…"  
  
"Yeah, you can say that again…" I muttered under my breath.  
  
"I can offer you another chance at life, if you desire it,"came the rich voice, surprisingly pleasant to listen to, considering it was Death who was talking.  
  
"Really you can?!" I visibly brightened.  
  
"Yes, but must be sure you truly want it, for the task you must perform to acquire life again is no easy one," Death warned.  
  
"Well of course, I mean, maybe before I wouldn't have, but now…I have something to live for…"  
  
"Heero?" he inquired.  
  
"Well, yes, but how did you know -…"  
  
"I know many things. Besides, you've exchanged so many of the favors I've owed you in return for his life, it would be a pity to leave your world and him behind.shall, I grant you this chance or not?" asked Death, a bit impatiently.  
  
"Sheesh, yeah, sure. Go right a- wait, why are you doing this for me? You don't owe me anything. The powers you gave me more then paid for my 'services'," asked, suddenly suspicious. I mean, I could have been selling my soul for all I knew!  
  
"Mahaha, it's as if you'll be selling you soul to me, Duo," Death said, with a deep, booming laugh.  
  
"Then why?" I persisted.  
  
"Because, well…I…you intrigue me, Maxwell. I like you," Death reluctantly admitted.  
  
"So what?" I asked, perplexed. So the God of Death liked me. I suppose that was good, but why was he acting so uncomfortable?  
  
"It's embarrassing. Gods aren't 'friends' with mortals. It's considered bellow us," he explained.  
  
"Oh," I said, at a total lose for words. "Well, okay, thanks…I guess? In that case, yeah, that chance at life sounds real good right about now"  
  
"So be it!" rumbled Shinigami. "You will return to your world in the form of the animal you are most akin to. To regain your true form [1] you must get the one you truly love to say 'I love you' and mean it to the beast you'll become, not the human you've been. If this does not occur in one year's time then you will spend eternity as a beast."  
  
And with a little abrah kadabrah I was back on the lake shore, laying on my back. I thought I heard a fading voice say "and remember, your love will never know who you are, no matter what you do…"  
  
My arms were still folded over my chest…wait! They weren't arms, but BIG furry paws.  
  
I tried ot get up to discover my legs would not support my whole wait, and fell onto all fours.  
  
Curious, as to just what this new body looked like, I crept down to the water's edge to find a big, black panther, with uncanny violet eyes that seemed to glow, staring back at me. It was my reflection!  
  
*****************  
  
End  
  
I typed this really fast so if you see mistakes please email me and tell me at demonangel600@aol.com 


	5. part 5

Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 5: Over Load  
  
By Mongoose  
  
************************  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy  
  
tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any  
  
original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net  
  
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's  
  
by. It's called "Fluke"  
  
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is  
  
NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
************************  
  
[Duo]  
  
My first reaction was one of shock. I just stared at my reflection, which, in turn, stared just as stupidly back at me with *bight" *glowing* violet eyes, a furry black head with two furry black ears and a pink nose, and white whiskers. I was a panther…..a panther…..  
  
You know, this may sound really sick, but at the time, it was funny. I had this really immature urge to say "cool!" Now that I look back on it, it really could have been a lot worse. I mean, I could have been "most akin" to a fly, and I –a gundam pilot- would get meet my end by means of a flyswatter. Or a frog! Some people EAT frogs! Or a rat. Or- okay, I'll shut up now….  
  
Curious as to if I had fangs (though now that I look back on it, duh, of course I did. I was a panther, wasn't I?) I lifted my black lips, which felt strange, to find that I most defiantly did. Long, sharp, deadly fangs. Cool.  
  
I moved so that I could see my whole body reflected in the dark pool. I had a long, curling tail, broad shoulders, and razor-like retractable claws that just had to lethal. All in all I thought I looked down-right kick-ass. I had muscles that were strong and fine-toned, it made my human body look puny, which is saying something, thankyouverymuch. All this was wrapped up in a luxuriously silky, thick, fine fur coat. And it was my favorite color -black!  
  
This is not to say that I didn't want my human body back. Oh no. Not by a long shot. As much as I can admire this kitty, human is human. There are some things that giant cats just can't do…And another thing, panthers don't have hands. That could be a problem…Aw, man, this could suck.  
  
After I was done summing up my new bod I suddenly felt as if some one has dumped me in cold water as reality poured down on my head in what felt like a tsunami-sized wave. Mostly I got a lot of really bad emotions that just ruined my day.  
  
I felt angry, not at the little girl, or Heero, maybe at shinigami, or myself, I don't' know…  
  
I felt sad. A horrible sadness of loss and defeat. Of hopelessness. I felt frustrated-frustrated about my predicament, the past wars, and myself.  
  
I felt my ambition jump to the challenge of winning Heero's love again. Then despair when I remembered how hard it had been the first time…and how much harder it would be this time. Would he be able to tell it's me? No. Of course not. Shinigami had said that no matter what I did he would never know.  
  
Then nature turned on my new senses all at once. "Warning! Warning! Human off! Panther on!" screamed my internal alarms. New smells, sounds and sights flooded my poor, over-loaded brain till I thought I would burst. I gasped for air. Then something really creepy happened; a consciousness stirred –and it wasn't mine. It was the panther's. It was a conscious creature, and it apparently it was my new roommate in my brain. It started relaying primal messages to me. It told me to find food, it told me to mark my territory, to make sure no one else was in my territory. But beyond those basic instincts, there was still something else. It was cool, calculating, and right now it was amused…  
  
My emotions, the new senses, and the orders to my brain from my furry roommate were just too much.  
  
I ran off into the forest as fast as my new kitty could take me (which is *very* fast)  
  
************  
  
-END  
  
I typed this fast, so if there are mistakes please email me at demonangel600@comcast.net 


	6. part 6

Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 6: Gone  
  
By Mongoose  
  
************************  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy  
  
tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any  
  
original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net  
  
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's  
  
by. It's called "Fluke"  
  
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is  
  
NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
************************  
  
[Heero]  
  
When I got home, I went straight to the bedroom. I curled up is a fetal ball and just lay there. I didn't cried, didn't go around destroying household items. All I did was lay there. But this was bad. I had thought if I could just let out my emotions, I'd be alright, but now I discovered that it wasn't so easy. All I had now was a gaping hole where the hurt and loss should have been, and that scared me.  
  
I tried to think of anything else to do, anything, other than just lay here, watching the hole inside my heart grow bigger and bigger and bigger…  
  
Eventually I drifted into a dreamless sleep where all I saw were the backs of my eyelids, which I imagined to be that empty nothingness –the hole in my heart.  
  
_________________  
  
The light of dawn flooded threw the window and pierced threw my eyelids to brutally force me awake. /damn it! I forgot to close the curtains. Duo will be so pissed/ wait….I was missing something…something terribly important…/Duo!....was gone/ It all came back to me in a rush. But I had no grief, only that hole where it should have been, and it was growing. I dragged my aching body out of bed as my previously tense muscles screamed in protest. I ignored their cries and got up anyway. Or I *tried* to get up. Unfortunately that was made very difficult by the *huge* black cat that was laying across my legs.  
  
I once again reached for my non-existent gun, remembered it was gone, then wriggled and squirmed from underneath the heavy body.  
  
No small wonder I hurt so much. The damned thing has cut off the circulation to my legs. I gave it a vicious kick that managed to shove it towards the foot of the bed. I continued to kick it until it rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a thump.  
  
I mentally reviewed the last few minutes. There was a ca- no that was a panther- a black panther sitting…on my bed. It had somehow managed to get there in the night, without my knowing it. Wait! A panther…in northern Sank? That wasn't possible. Perhaps an escapee from a nearby zoo? According to my inspection of the area there were no zoos on this scarcely populated side of Sank. A traveling circus then? I doubted that. There were no big cities out here, but tiny towns with houses scattered all over the country side. They wouldn't get any business way out here. The biggest of the feline family inhabited Africa and Asia. Sank was in Europe. What the Hell was going on?  
  
Was I losing my mind? Maybe. It was certainly conceivable. Duo had been one of the few things to keep me sane during the war…and now…he was gone. I decided that I was hallucinating. Best to ignore my hallucination then. I peered over the over the end of the bed at my "hallucination", just to make sure of what I saw to find my imagined panther still sleeping peacefully as if it hadn't just been kicked off my bed. I sighed. I was defiantly hallucinating.  
  
/Duo!/ I still hadn't buried Duo…/oh Kami, I don't want to…/ But I knew I had to.  
  
I moaned and slung my feet over the side of the bed, throwing the blankets off. I was still wearing my cloths from yesterday but I didn't care. I shoved some sandals on and headed out of the sliding glass doors of our…my bedroom. I went around to the side of the house where Duo's little garden was. There, sure enough, was a shovel.  
  
Every nerve in my body pleaded with me, telling me not to touch the shovel, to never ever go back to that lakeside ever again. But I ignored it all, picked up the shovel and set off for the lake at a light jog.  
  
When I got there though, Duo was gone. Where Duo had lain grew a thick patch of deadly nightshade flowers. Or I'd thought he'd lain there…  
  
I'd brought something with me. It was a dried yellow flower. I'd intended to burry it with Duo. Not knowing what else to do, I laid the flower down amidst the deadly nightshade, turned around and left.  
  
*********************  
  
-End of part 6  
  
I typed this really fast so if you see some mistakes please email my at demonangel600@comcast.net 


	7. part 7

Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 7: Stranger in His Own Home  
  
By Mongoose  
  
************************  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy  
  
tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any  
  
original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net  
  
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's  
  
by. It's called "Fluke"  
  
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is  
  
NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
************************  
  
[Duo]  
  
After my insane little run threw the woods I guess I finally got a hold of myself….or more accurately, the panther got a hold of me and my furry buddy's instincts led us home. I just walked in the open front door, where, I noticed, the blood had been cleaned up. I padded threw the small hallway and into my and Heero's bedroom to find Heero curled up in a fetal position, shivering. "So cold…so……..cold," Heero muttered in his sleep, tossing and turning every now and then, brow furrowed.  
  
I felt so sorry for him, but in my still unstable state I couldn't, for the life—or death of me—figure out what was so agonizing. Not knowing what else I could do for him I simple curled up next to him on our bed, trying to keep him warm and stop his shivering.  
  
*************************  
  
I awoke to an unpleasant kick to my side as I was shoved off to the foot of the bed. I, not wanting to be forced into the cruel world of wakefulness, simply curled into a tighter ball in an attempt to regain my salvation of oblivion. When I was finally shoved completely off the bed by a series of vicious kicks I gave up the good fight and opened my reluctant eyes.  
  
I abruptly shut them again when my new color pallet of vision caused my memory to creak into motion and I remembered what had happened…and what I was.  
  
Then Heero let out a loud moan and jumped off our bed. He kicked some sandals on, opened the back door and disappeared around the log wall of our cabin. /What on earth..? It was like he never even saw me…./  
  
/Well, how would YOU react to waking up to a giant kitty in YOUR bed, Maxwell?/  
  
/This IS my bed!/  
  
As I argued with myself I felt, rather then heard, a sort of stirring in my mind as the panther put in its own two cents. The panther didn't think in words. It thought in actions and feelings and emotions and instincts. And since I apparently wasn't getting it's message "It" thought in action and I found myself moving towards the back door that Heero had just disappeared threw.  
  
Since I decided that following Heero was probably the best choice anyway I didn't resist. I felt the Panther's approval at my agreement with it. It was odd, but the mind of the panther reminded me a lot of my old partner, Deathscythe. How I used to sort of "sense" thoughts from him too. /Partners…yeah, I think I like the sound of that….partner./ The panther rumbled a deep purr of approval at this.  
  
I peered around the door frame to see Heero picking up a large shovel form my garden. I felt sick. He was going to burry me. I knew what he'd find when he went to the lake shore, though. Nothing. I had to admit, he had some guts to be going back to that place. If it was him that had been shot…I don't know what I'd do, but I had NO intention of following him. I still was afraid of that place. I'd died there. Even if I got my human body back, I still died there, it will just be my second life. It gave me the chills. Some sick part of me wanted to go back there and just lay on my deathbed, to bask in the sun on it and roll in the grass where my life ended on it, and I think that that darker side of me was what scared me the most.  
  
So I went to the kitchen, where I again noted that the blood had been cleaned away…like it had never happened…. Heh, Heero was as thorough as ever. Then where was the girl? I curiously went outside again and searched around the outside of the cabin. I noticed a rise in the earth under my garden. On closer inspection I saw a small stone placed at the head on the mound of earth. A nameless grave….that was all she got… Whoever she was she deserved much better… I silently wished her peace and asked for forgiveness for her father's death. All she'd been living for was my death, and that's why she was actually able to find me. I know. I've been there. When my parents were killed I became obsessed. I did nothing but search for the soldier that has killed them. And when I found him…oh, he had suffered before I'd finally killed him. And when I was done with him I hadn't been happy. Just empty….  
  
I was lost. Just plain lost. But Solo found me. He found me…. But when he had died, there'd been no one to kill, just the plague. But it was OZ's fault for not giving out the antidote…all they're fault….  
  
Now OZ was gone and I lived for Heero and for me. So I could understand what she'd done and why she'd done it. I wasn't mad…just incredibly sad and tired…no one else should have to go threw that …  
  
I wandered back into my house that I was now apparently a stranger in…/a stranger in my own home….Man, this is really gonna suck, isn't it?/  
  
***********************  
  
-End of part 7  
  
What'd ya think? Tell me at demonangel600@comcast.net Also, I typed this really fast and in a hurry so if you see any mistakes please tell me. Thanks! ^_^ 


	8. part 8

Year of the Panther  
  
Chapter 8: What now?  
  
By Mongoose  
  
*********************  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy  
  
tale, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any  
  
original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission!  
  
C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net  
  
Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago…very sad...I don't know who it's  
  
by. It's called "Fluke"  
  
IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by […..] also, this is  
  
NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see!  
  
Now finally…the fic!  
  
Note: Okay, here it is, the next part. And wait, before anyone complains about how short it is I'll have you know I'm still quite sick as I type this. Be grateful minna. Plus there IS a reason (several actually) they're always so damn short. Reason is that when I wrote it I'd write a little bit before I went to bed each night, and as I am unable to retain my train of thought for more then a few hours, I have to end the chapters when I go to sleep. The second reason is that I'm a slow typer and my hand gets sore fairly quickly when I type, so I have to do it in short periods or not at all. And third, I have zero time to type, so that when I do get something done, no matter how short, I put it up right away. It's either that or wait a month instead of a week for there to be more of it.  
  
I will, however, put three parts into one part when it's all done, just for you.  
  
And now, on with the story….  
  
**************************  
  
[Heero]  
  
It was almost afternoon when I got back to the house. I'd left the door open the night before and probably hadn't bothered to close the back one either.  
  
Anyway, in the doorway, sat my hallucination. It looked like it had been expecting me, which made sense, I guess. If it was a product of my mind of course it would know when I was coming home. It made what could have been a smile, but on second thought it was just the beast panting.  
  
I glared at it and the panther abruptly closed it's mouth.  
  
Then I did something very stupid. I walked forward and reached out the touch the large feline. But I had to know if it was real. Had to know that I wasn't loosing my mind, had to be sure. And I wanted to… touch it.  
  
My hand came in contact with thick silky fur. I, fascinated, rubbed my fingers threw it. Then a low rumble started to resonate from the creature. It was so low it vibrated threw my hand. It was purring, I realized. I couldn't believe it. I guess I just didn't picture cats this big purring. But this one was. It leaded into my hand, seeking more…pets? I was petting a panther. A beast twice my weight with teeth that could crush bone, and I was petting it. Perhaps this creature was real, but I was still out of my mind.  
  
The beast looked up at me with startling bright violet eyes. It hurt to look into them, they were so bight….  
  
/Duo had eyes like those…they were violet. Bight and so beautiful it hurt o look at them…../ I had to stop thinking of Duo /Then what? Forget him? No! Never! I couldn't…/  
  
I went inside to get something to eat even though I wasn't hungry; I just knew I should anyway. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Duo in the back of my mind was telling me it wasn't healthy not to eat for two days. Just as I was about to step over the panther (that should have bitten my hand off) that was lounging in the doorway, it moved aside. It followed me into the kitchen and into the pantry. I got out some frozen fish from the frig to warm up in the stove, and it followed me there too. When dinner/lunch was done it was dark out. Spring was still not fully in bloom and the days were still short.  
  
I had made too much, since I'm used to cooking for two. I set it all down on the little coffee table in the living room and went outside to get some fire wood (Duo had insisted on having a fireplace, said it reminded him of "old times", but I never knew what he meant). Winter was still fighting the good fight, so it was still cold out.  
  
When I'd gotten a small fire going I pulled the arm chair up to the coffee table and sat down to think what to do.  
  
I was surprised to find the panther sitting a top Duo's favorite purple cushion at my feet, licking its chops.  
  
I quickly glanced down at my food. More than half of it was gone. I shook my head, but I really didn't' mind. I wouldn't have eaten it all anyway.  
  
Now, what to do? I couldn't stay here, that was for sure. I'd never deal with Duo's…death…not with his memory all over this house…haunting me. /So should I move? I guess. Who did I know that I could stay with?..../ I thought for a moment /Quatre!/ Of course, how could I forget him so quickly, I thought guiltily. He was one of my oldest and most trusted friends, though few knew it. Perhaps he could help me deal with my grief too. He'd helped me before; perhaps he'd be kind enough to help me again, though I didn't disserve it. His Unchu no kokoro (1) and his intuition often detected emotions in me that I didn't even know I had, much less understand and know what to do with. We had been good friends during the war. I could always talk to him about stuff I didn't understand. Hell, it was he who first got me and Duo together. He recognized my feelings towards him and pestered me until I confessed them. Damn annoying at the time but I've never been more grateful to anyone else in the end. I idly wondered if Duo would be dead now if that had never happened, if we'd never become lovers. But that wasn't what happened, so there was no point in thinking about it.  
  
I reached down and scratched the huge feline behind the ear, I don't know why. I just did. It purred that deep MS motor purr again and leaned it's head against my leg. I just sat there, scratching it and listening to it purr, as I stared into the flames for a long time.  
  
Yes, I could go to Quatre's and everything would be alright. I could stay at one of his mansions for a while, get a job, an apartment /a life/…/and just live/…/live a life without Duo/…/what is life without Duo?/.../ I don't know/…/Duo, I miss you./  
  
And that's the last coherent thought I had as I drifted into weary sleep on the over stuffed armchair in my living room. The panther continued to purr at my feet.  
  
**********  
  
-End part 8  
  
1. Unchu no kokoro means space heart. It's Quatre's weird power. Like when Heero self-destructed and Quatre was moaning as if it hurt him, that sort of thing.  
  
I typed this really fast so if you see some mistakes please email my at demonangel600@comcast.net 


	9. Part 9

Year of the Panther Chapter 9: Show and tell By Mongoose ********************* Warnings: Shounen ai, 1+2 (I'll notify ya'll of any others as they appear) .A.U.! Fairy Tale-ish, PG13, I guess. Swear words of every imaginable kind, violence. Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boyz. I'm not making money off this. Nuf said. Any original characters are mine; don't use 'em without my permission! C & C please! You can reach me at demonangel600@comcast.net Notes: I was inspired by a movie I saw a long time ago.very sad...I don't know who it's by. It's called "Fluke" IMPORTANT note! POVs will change a lot and will be signaled by [...] also, this is NOT a death fic. I know it looks like it but let me get the rest typed and you will see! Now finally.the fic! Note: Well, um.okay. Fine. I'm sorry. I know it's been nearly a year. I've been stuck, but now that I finally decided to stop trying to use the old version from my journal and just write it from scratch it went okay. So, after life happened and writer's block, here is part 9. In case anyone is wondering about that BloodScores comic I was working on - I didn't finish it on time for the contest, but I still want to follow through with it at some point, because it as a cool idea. But alas, the notebook that had about 40 pages of the scrip and some story boarding in it is missing. I don't know what happened to it. It was my only copy of it! Woe is me. Also I've been donating every bit of my weekend time to organizing for the march on Washington D.C. for affirmative action on April 1! I urge everybody is for equality and against racism to come and support us. Our website is at www.bamn.com. And before anyone asks, yes I'm for affirmative action. Anyway, one last note: I'd like to thank all of the ppl who reviewed this fanfics, and thank them for their encouragement for me to continue. Thank you so much!  
  
**************************  
  
[Duo] I cracked one violet eye open as the sunlight rudely pounded against my eyelids. The light hurt, and my internal clock told me it was WAY too early to be getting up just yet. A rumble of agreement came from the panther consciousness deep within my own. But just as I was settling into the peaceful realm of sleep again my ears twitched, hearing a sound. Instantly alert the panther had my eyes wide open and ears perked in interest as I was dragged into wakefulness. 'ungh' I thought incoherently at the panther who had forced me (in collaboration with the sunlight) to wake the hell up. I felt a mental 'shhhh' from the panther, who was trying to pinpoint the source of the noise we'd heard. 'nugh' I muttered in intelligent defiance. It growled at me. 'Okay okay, fine! I'm up, damnit. Yeesh!...ya big fur ball!' It sent feelings of smug satisfaction at me. I mentally glared at it. Then, with a sigh I turned my attention to the outside world, only mildly interested in it at the moment. I swiveled my ears this way and that, letting the panther and its instinct guide me. I heard thunking noises and other muffled thumps. Suddenly I felt a small prod on my mind, like someone had just mentally tapped me on the shoulder. I felt it again. 'Oh! You're asking me a question?' I thought at what I was starting to think of as the panther's corner of my consciousness. An emotion of confusion and uncertainty was my only reply. 'uhh.I guess you don't understand coherent thought too well do you?....' No response at all this time, just the silence of incomprehension. 'hmn.' I muttered in the same noncommittal, multi-usage grunt Heero was so fond of. 'but you seemed to understand me before, right?' I thought half to myself and half to the beast. Then an idea struck me 'Hey! Maybe it was my emotions you understood, not my words, right?' Another, waiting sort of silence settled over the panther's mind now. Anticipation. 'You think I'm starting to get it, but I'm just being kinda slow, right? Thanks for you patience.' There was a response to that last sentence-no, emotion-my emotion of gratitude. It understood that and it send back a feeling of acknowledgement. Finally we were getting somewhere. Then the panther sent again that questioning prob. It sensed my familiarity with this environment, an environment that must seem alien to it and it was asking my advice. 'What was that sound?' its emotions said to me 'Are they dangerous?', 'Can I eat the maker of those sounds', 'or is it another panther, come to steel my territory?' All this was inferred through simple emotion. Wow. I decided that, however amazing emotion's many meanings may be, this thing was just gonna hafta learn some words. So I thought at it in words and emotions, hoping it would learn their meanings that way. I sent it feelings of reassurance and thought 'It's alright, it's just Heero. He is not a threat' (though of course, Heero could be quite dangerous when he wanted, but he wouldn't try to hurt me even as a panther unless I attacked him. Besides, without his gun, what match was Heero for a panther?) 'Heero is not a threat' I repeated. To the panther that meant that Heero was not a rival panther and not a bigger predator. I felt a curious feeling that sounded suspiciously like, 'can I eat it?' 'No! You cannot eat Heero!' I send waves of negativity at that question. A frustrated snort came from it as if it were saying 'you can't fight it, you can't run from it and you can't eat it, so what CAN you do with it!?' I thought of how to explain this to the beast. Did panthers live with their mates outside of the breeding season? Did they even keep the same mate year after year? They certainly didn't have other males as mates, and somehow I knew the panther could tell that Heero was a male. Animals just know these things. Oh well, here go nothing. 'Heero is my..mate.' I sent wave of love and all the other emotions I thought of as my feelings for Heero. There was a pause, then limited acknowledgement. As if it was withholding judgment. It didn't really understand but was willing to learn. Okay. That was fine with me, as long as it didn't try to eat Heero. Another prod at my mind sounded like impatience and curiosity. It wanted to check out this Heero-panther that I said was my mate. Boy was it in for a shock. 'Hey, before we get up, I think you need a name. I can't keep thinking of you as 'the panther' and 'it', you know?' More impatience. Fine. Be that way. 'My name is Duo', I told it, and I threw all the emotion and memories and thoughts that I thought of as myself at the panther. Its mind reeled from the sudden wash of thoughts, many of them completely foreign to it as the mental equivalent of Duoness poured down on its mind. I realized that maybe that wasn't such a good idea. I hope its okay.. That was kind of a lot for an animal to take all at once. Oops. Then I felt a metaphorical shake of the panther's head and emotions of dazed amazement wash over me. It hadn't comprehended all of it, or even most of it, to be sure, but it had understood the emotion in all those memories and thoughts, and perhaps even a little more, and it wanted to see more. Now. It started riffling threw my thoughts as it began to explore my mind with interest, as one might explore a new territory. Great. Just peachy. Oh well. Although it felt odd, it didn't hurt. I decided to let it go ahead and explore. If it was ever going to get smart enough to understand language, this would be the quickest way for it to do it. Then I thought of something. 'Hey, wait!' It gave me a mental glance of inquiry and thought 'Duo?' at me. Wow, it knew my name. It was asking 'Yes Duo, what do you want?' Cool! And it had an accent, I was amazed to realize. Like someone from another country saying your name for the first time and trying very hard to pronounce it right. 'Yes, I am Duo.' I thought at it carefully, but couldn't help but let the joy and approval at this new development slip past that thought. It purred with pride at its accomplishment, 'You need a name' It seemed to half understand what I meant and threw everything that was being a panther down on me, just as I had done to it. And while its mind wasn't as complex as mine, it was still a mind blowing experience. I suddenly felt what it was like to run through the forest, to hunt fleeing prey, to defend one's territory from others. And the sense of power and grace that comes along with being a panther. For a moment I was living the stealth and then the chase and then the kill all at once. I knew what it was like to have lived with hearing surpassing my own, smell things never imagined, see things in that movement sensitive way that panthers do. Everything it was to be a panther, all in just a few moments. For a moment I was a panther, not just in body but in mind, and it was beyond words. I got the feeling I didn't understand it all, but there would be time to work that out later. I shook my furry head to clear it and then said. 'So, like I said, you need a name' At the word 'name' I felt the panther about to fling another wave of pantherness at me, so I quickly said 'no, no that's okay. Thanks but I'm fine.' It seemed to understand and subsided. 'Okay, how 'bout this' I told it. 'Pan, short for panther, and like Pan the forest god, right?' It understood that I thought of it as this word 'panther' and it understood 'forest god' to mean 'A mighty panther who rules the entire forest' It liked the second definition best and slowly said the name to itself, of himself, as I should start to think of it as, for he was defiantly a male. 'Pa.Pan.Pan!' It roared triumph and approval at the name. I sent wave of happiness at it. It then went back to rummaging through my thoughts. 'So you're leaving this to me, eh buddy?' No response. It was busy. This environment was my department, not his. 'Okay, fine. Off to meet Heero then,' I thought merrily. ********** TBC Yes, I know, I need to beta read. I'll do it when I have time. C&C please! -Mongoose 


End file.
